It is really hard to wake up early in the freezing cold mornings. I mean, who wouldn’t want to sleep for some extra hours especially when you have nothing to do? But I need to force myself out of the bed every morning. I bet anything is better than hearing the tantrums of my parents, howling and reminding me of being irresponsible. So, what’s the big deal, they all have a job. But they all have a job! It’s not that I didn’t try, even Shukla uncle who lives two buildings away interviewed me for his proprietary. He thinks I am too fragile to manage the workers at his brickyard. I don’t give a damn, it is always some or the other excuse!
I am here at the breakfast table for about 10 minutes already and my plate is still empty. Nobody seems to care! My brother, younger to me by 3 years is sitting across me. I see him spreading his favourite pineapple jam over hot toasts. He has two more toasts in his plate. He briefly looks at me and gets back to his newspaper. I am dreary and hungry, does he ever notice the lost respect for him in my eyes? My mom usually cooks sufficient but when she doesn’t, why is it always me?
I slip the hood over my head, shove my hands into my pockets as I slowly go down the stairs and arrive at the pavement. I know a small eatery nearby. Cheap and best! They make delicious samosas.
I need to take a right turn around the corner and walk for about 2 more minutes. I walk past a small children’s park. This is where I met Shanguftha. We went to the same school, in the same auto rickshaw. She is a small cute girl, very ambitious and good at studies. She was my junior in school.
I heard from my friends that she has a new boyfriend. She never talked to me about that, why would she, after our breakup, she moved on! That is what she told me the last time she called me on my birthday.
I had been to her sister’s wedding last month. Shanguftha graced the evening with her dance performance. I don’t know, neither do I want to know, whom that dance partner was! He was touching her everywhere, her waist, her hair and her backside. She never feels uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable that she never feels uncomfortable when some guy touches her.
Why do people disappoint other people? My parents disappoint me by ranting all the time. I disappoint them by not being a good son. Shanguftha disappoints me by moving on in her life. I disappoint her by not telling that I love her. Why do we disappoint each other? It is really tough to come clear with your expectations and depend on others to not crush them.
I reach the shop and order two hot samosas. Crisp and rightly fried! The crispy layers crumble in your mouth bringing out the potato-onion filling inside. Wow! They taste super awesome in this cold weather.
I see an old man sitting across the street. He is wearing a ripped dirty black sweater. His skin has gotten dry because of cold weather making white rashes all over. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back.
Should I offer him one of these samosas? He didn’t ask me for it. He doesn’t seem to expect that from me. I cross the road and offer him the snack. He smiles and grabs one!
P.S: Expectations bring Disappointments. When you are unexpectant and something is offered to you, it brings joy!!
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